Cat = Hijacker
I am growing weary of Mike Myers and his comic schtick that always seems to involve a rather tiresome impersonation of a fat and/or drunken Scotsman (please note the second Austin Powers movie and So I Married an Axe Murderer). I am losing patience with cheesy movies that solely rely on CGI to entertain thousands of young individuals whose minds are still forming. I am further disturbed by Hollywood's continual efforts to produce massed-produced drivel, motivated only by ever increasing box office receipts and horrible movie tie-ins with fast food restaurants.
As evidence, I offer you, gentle reader, the "comedy" blockbuster of the burgeoning holiday movie season...The Cat in the Hat.
- It stars Mike Myers, mugging and grinning like an idiot (and I sorta like Mike Myers).
- It relies on lots of "wacky" special effects that are sure to make the youngsters clamor for more.
- It has inspired a whole new line of toys and Christmas ornaments at Burger King.
- And, as an added bonus: It features a simply awful, awful song by Smash Mouth (which, by the way, is such an atrocious band that I can't simply bear to link to their site) that you can hear played over and over and over again on the aforementioned fast food restaurant's Web site.
But the most egregious offense has to be the media coverage of the movie. It topped the US box office this past weekend, and numerous stories appeared in most major newspapers here. Unfortunately, the titles for all of these articles rely on the requisite cutesy reference to cats. A totally non-scientific, non-random sampling is follows:
- "Cat in the Hat" Proves Box Office Lion - San Francisco Chronicle
- "Cat in the Hat" Purrs at US Box Office - Reuters, UK
- "Cat" Claws to $40.1M Box Office Win - CNN
- Cat Leaps Out of the Hat in US - Calcutta Telegraph
- Cat Scratches Its Way to the Top - Film Stew
And the winner in the "World's Worst Mixed Metaphor Involving Current Affairs and Fantastical Children's Books" category is...
Mike Myers Hijacks Cat and Ruins It - Syracuse Post Standard
(This list is courtesy of Google News, however, I really must question your sanity if you are interested in the other 83 articles to which they link.)