Disclosure
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about disclosure on individuals’ weblogs and Web sites. I’m curious to know how people negotiate the delicate balance between expressing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences (and creating a distinct authorial voice that stands out from the gazillion of other people who write blogs) and providing too much information about themselves. I’m all for pushing the boundaries of self-expression, but when you do so online, it’s just a Google search and a link away. Suddenly, (potentially) millions of your new best friends can easily access anything you disclose.
I am highly sensitized to the fact that what I may or may not say on my blog might become an “issue” in any number of ways. For example, in future job interviews for academic positions, I might be questioned as to why I chose to reveal certain information about myself. Or, some members of my family might stumble onto my blog and take issue with my political views. How do I serve my need to disclose (which I find both cathartic and worthwhile) and my need to preserve parts of myself that aren’t fit for others’ (at least, not anonymous others’) consumption?
This isn’t a purely academic interest. I recently read that one of my exes has moved in with his new girlfriend and another has gotten engaged. It’s weird. I’m certainly not invested in their lives, nor am I particularly upset. However, it’s strange that they would disclose such information to complete strangers (one of them has a blog on LiveJournal, and could restrict the people that see his postings, but has chosen not to) – and I have to wonder if (especially in one particular case) this was posted just because he knows that I probably read his blog.
You might wonder, of course, why I’m even interested in reading their Web sites, if I’m so “not interested” in their lives in the first place. I don’t honestly know. It’s kind of like a car accident – you want to look away, because it’s so awful, but you… just…can’t. For me, checking in from time to time on those that had been oh-so-important to me in the past is absolutely necessary. It gives me some perspective; it reminds me of the person I was and how glad I am to have finished that chapter of my life.
I return, therefore, to the first question I posed: how do we walk the fine line between healthy self-disclosure and too much information? Or, I could ask it another way: when does self-expression become egomania? And how does technology mediate this experience? Why is it that I feel so much freer to express my true feelings via my weblog and, yet, so much more painfully aware of the potential consequences of doing so?
Comments
Well, to be fair, what is too much information?
I really could care less what strangers know about me, provided I keep a majority of my personally identifying data close to my chest. My last name, phone number, address, license plate number, etc never see the light of day on my onjo.
I would never write about some tawdry sexual experience I had on my onjo, but I wouldn't really care if people knew about it in a third person sense.
Personally, I think your onjo is far more revealing than you want it to be. What I can ascertain from your onjo is
Your last name (via your out of date website)
What you look like (via your out of date website).
Where you school (via your out of date website).
Where you were born (via your out of date website).
Your birthday (from your Amazon.com wishlist).
Want to imagine how much damage I could do with this information if I was so inclined?
If you gave some guy a hand job in the back of Walmart to get his employee discount so you could buy a new dinette set, I would probably be amazed and entertained, but if I was a stranger and had no way of knowing who you are...that would be the end of it.
(Sorry, didn't mean to tell everybody about your Walmart moment :) *duck*)
Posted by: Jake | December 9, 2003 2:20 PM
are you really using the term "onjo" now? that's almost as wretched a term as "blog"...
Posted by: adrienne | December 9, 2003 5:06 PM
...but not _too_ personal. it's a fine line.
Posted by: adrienne | December 9, 2003 10:00 PM
I hate the word blog. It's a crassly unpalatable word. Starts hard...ends hard...and it deconstructs into a series of unpleasant words. Bog, Log, Blo...blech, it's an asthetically displeasing word.
Onjo (pronounced is if you are speaking spanish, Oon Yo, is much nicer to say. Oon you.
Given the option between the two, I'm going with Onjo. You can continue to keep your blog.)
True, your online journal is much more life-centric than mine, so the added info is, perhaps, appropriate. I guess I don't trust web trawlers.
Posted by: Jake | December 9, 2003 11:47 PM
I know that potentially strangers might read my blog. And find out what I had for lunch, should I wish to post that info. I was actually thinking about this just this morning and trying to imagine a comparison between online journaling and the so-called "confessional" poetry movement (Anne Sexton, Sylvia Plath, for two). Because I think there is something there-- yes, I reveal some personal details of my life. Some of them could, potentially, get me into trouble sometimes. I have written a lot as a teacher about anonymous students who have driven me crazy. It's certainly possible that those students might get to my blog, read that I was annoyed with "Student X" and go-- wait, that was me bitching about my grade. How dare she!?!
I have to admit to having edited one very personal post about my mother once I realized she knew about my blog. I took out the info that I thought might hurt her. This is the same reason I haven't written the truly confessional autobiographical fiction (like, say, Girls Guide to Hunting & Fishing) that I think I could write, that I think people might actually like to read.
But what is truly confessional? Is it scandalous to read my thoughts, my daily activities? Not usually. Is it boring? Probably to many people. But I know I find myself completely fascinated by the personal stories of other bloggers, as long as they aren't so long my Sesame Street inspired "short attention span" kicks in. And I find the blogs that are totally non-personal, observations on web news or merely links to other websites, totally and completely boring. Some of the blogs listed as "best" on the competition for that sort of thing that are in the top five made me go "blech" and move back to the personal blogs I read regularly. I don't know these people personally. Many of my "readers" already know me. I'd like to know more people and a certain "teenage look at me" feeling wants more people to know me, to say "wow, isn't she witty and interesting". Even if I'm not.
I guess it's sort of like pen pals. In a very public way.
This is too long. Sorry!!
Posted by: Kim Wells | December 12, 2003 12:04 PM
Well, to be honest, I didn't think about the possibility that you might read my LiveJournal. Nothing I've said therein springs to mind as being for your benefit or detriment. I only today even thought to look you up online.
Like you, I've moved on with my life...in some fashion, though, I'll always treasure the good things that sprang from our relationship and interaction, and I'll always regret the crass, self-serving, and thoughtless things I did. It's my sincere hope that you don't feel I'd intentionally attempt to cause you any irritation. I make mistakes. It try not to repeat them. I sometimes fail. I know I failed you in many important ways. It's cheap and easy to say, but I didn't want to.
Yes, I know I still owe you for a few things. I've been critically out of work for a long time now. Instant Karma, maybe. ;)
Be well. You don't need my vote of confidence, but you're a great person, regardless.
Posted by: Will | February 2, 2004 1:30 AM