hegemony rules

During my time in Asheville, I've noticed a couple of things about the residents who call this idyllic mountain town home. This is Hippy Town, USA (not to be confused with Hobby Town, USA). People here are very much into their bikes, dogs, hiking boots, anti-GWB stickers, and organic food. For the most part, I don't mind. It reminds me of an even more granola version of Seattle.

But there's one thing I just don't get. While I don't consider myself a fashion snob, I seriously loathe one particular accessory that seems to be all the rage here. These:

The plastic clogs with holes in them that come in at least 15 different colors, each more hideous than the last.
I don't mean to rain on anyone's Croc parade, but these are really ugly. Weren't these called "jelly shoes" in the 80s? They were a bad idea then, too.

The company's web site lists a bunch of reasons why you should wear these atrocities:

1.) Really soft, super comfortable, molds to your feet
2.) Barely there, weighing only 6 ounces
3.) Vented so air passes through, keeping feet cool
4.) Non-marking slip-resistant soles
5.) Bacteria and odor resistant
6.) Ultra-hip Italian styling
7.) Port holes allow water and sand to pass through
8.) Can be sterilized in water and bleach
9.) Easy maintenance, just wipe clean
10.) Orthotic molded foot bed for ultimate comfort and support

Um, "Port holes?" When did nautical acoutrements become de riguer in shoes? "Just wipe clean?" - um, I thought I was buying footwear, not a countertop. "Ultra-hip Italian styling?" - really? Where?

No offense if you personally wear Crocs. I just don't get them. Enlighten me....